They say our love is only a dream, That I'll wake up and you'll be gone (L)

This is something I found on my PC, I wrote it when I was in Lisbon . Don't ask me what was going through my brain, because I have absolutely no idea .
Roughly ..-08-09

"I'm running through a field, wait, a forest . There are so many trees, I can hardly see anything apart from the flashes of light that come through every once in a while, I'm running with wolves . What the fuck ? I keep running, I know I can make it, I'm running and I'm tripping, I fall . I lift up my head, and scream on the top of my voice : " THE BANANAS ARE TAKING OVER" . Oh no ! Now the bananas are invading . I start running, and I'm gaining energy and speed, the bananas are running after us . The biggest wolf looks at me in mere disappointment and says: " Squeak, I think your fly's open" . I look down and pull up my zipper . I keep running . Now I'm flying . Not flying, floating . So I float towards the light, and I'm getting there, the bananas are getting smaller and I start to giggle . I find it hilarious that bananas can't fly and I look at the sun . The sun looks back, and grins . This is it . I'm going to die . And , I wake up . I wish I would've stayed asleep to actually find out what would happen next . The sun would probably turn into a sea monster and do the Hokey-Pokey with me ..."

Happy (:

Saturday night and I'm stuck at home with nothing to do . These last few days have changed my life in ways I can't describe . Let me keep you up to date . Thursday night I went out to a concert, which was pretty awesome as usual . So many of my friends were there, unfortunately I'm still trying to figure out which of them are truly my friends .. I almost didn't go to the concert, I was stuck at home searching for missing money ! Thank the Lord my true friends picked up and brought me there . As we arrived, we walked out of the car, and crawled right back in again while me and Juanna rolled up a couple of joints . Weed saves lives ! We smoked them while we listened to some of our favourite songs and bands, most importantly Kalashnikov which always makes us happy . After that, we went to the front of the music association, which basically is like a big warehouse that's got about nearly everything we need there, musicwise anyway .. I ran up to Jacqueline who was there with my "Oh So Mighty " friend . He's going out with a friend of mine, who was also there . Honestly, it doesn't really bother me, believe it or not . I'm happy, and he's happy, and that's all that really matters . So, I'm gonna leave out all the boring details, because I seem to forget this is NOT a diary ! I really enjoyed the concert, and after I went home with a friend of mine, whom I've been talking to for a little while . We had a lot of fun and one thing let to another, and you can kind of see where I'm going with this .
I loved sleeping next to him . And honestly, I'm scared .
The following day I went with him to school, we were so tired, trying to stay awake seemed like an impossible mission . Now I'm at home, sitting beside the fireplace with a laptop on my lap, writing this, and wanting more . Wanting more of him .
He actually makes me happy, and that's amazing !
In conclusion, I may have lost one of my few true friends . And for that I apologize . (L)
For now, this is all I have to say . Or better, this is all I'm going to say . As I repeat, this is NOT a diary, I'm leaving the details OUT !

Vieira Online

Well, I'm actually a kind person . Because if I wasn't, I would fuck everybody up in less than five minutes . Thank you for showing your true colours !

Pulp Fiction

Here I am, as usual, not knowing what to write .. I can say that I've changed, I've grown up in these last few months . I feel quite unstoppable, free and yes, I feel happy !
People have let me down, people have suprised me, people have made me sad and people have made me happy . Thank you for helping me grow up and learn from (y)our mistakes ..

Starting from tomorro, me and a friend of mine are making a bet .

No smoking, no drinking and no eating meat . It's going to be tough, but that's the way it is .

We'll decide the consequences tomorro at the recording studio .

Your Words Are Deadly Weapons

Try to show me this could last forever
Don't tell lies 'cause they never matter
And this heart you've known is about to shatter
It was only a kiss, your hand met mine
I think this time we crossed the line
None of that matters when you're gone
You said you'd be there, but now I find myself alone
You don't know what I'm going through
You don't know those tears I wiped were because of you
Your words keep turning into lies
But I can see the truth hiding in your eyes
Now you know the truth and you were wrong
Your words keep me from being strong
It was only a kiss, your hand met mine
I wish we had stopped for a moment in time
This heart you've touched is about to break
I'm dying and you can't see those smiles are fake
Your words are way too powerful for me to take
It was only a kiss, but it was a mistake
"Words kill as good as any gun."


Obrigada Tânia Monteiro :)

Choosing To Live

Suicide (Latin suicidium, from sui caedere, to kill oneself) is the intentional killing of one's self.
Over one million people commit suicide every year, making it the tenth-leading cause of death worldwide. It is a leading cause of death among teenagers and adults under 35. There are an estimated 10 to 20 million non-fatal attempted suicides every year worldwide.

"Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain."

R.I.P Tarcyanna Matos .

Take Your Time, But Don't Waste Mine

Senti, no seu peito, o lugar onde lhe tinham arrancado o coração. Senti os seus braços a envolverem-me ...
Enquanto subíamos as escadas, deixávamos para trás algo da nossa tristeza, do frio que apodrecia dentro de nós e que, para onde quer que fossemos, levaríamos sempre connosco.
Eu era alguém que tinha lembranças terríveis.
Senti tanto a falta dela.
Naquele fim de tarde, como nas noites em que não conseguia dormir, como quando fechava os olhos a procurá-la, sentado no banco que está debaixo da olaia, senti tanto a falta dela.
Por um momento, pensei que não tinha aproveitado o tempo em que estivera dentro de mim.
Mas, depois, outro momento substituiu esse.
Outro momento, depois de uma parede de separar momentos, e pensei que quando a via dentro de mim, eu era feliz .
Pensei que, nesse tempo, não poderia ter feito mais do que ser feliz .

Podíamos ter sorrido, mas os nossos olhos brilharam .



José Luís Peixoto