Disconnected

The blood doesn't flow the same way any more .
The heart doesn't beat a happy beat .
The brain doesn't process the information .
The arms won't lift up to scratch the itch .
The itch doesn't even have the strength to last .
The legs won't move for anything .
The eyelids can't flutter to get rid of the tears .
The blood doesn't even coagulate to stop the bleeding .
The skin won't reposess its position because it knows it will be victimised again and again .
The lungs won't hardly move to allow me to breathe .
The vocal chords have frozen, knowing I have nothing to say .
The lips have dried up, they are useless at this point .
The joints have become imobilized .
The stomach shrinks .
The tongue remains in its place .
The body falls to the ground .

Live Fast, Die Young

"I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real"

My Reason To Live (L)

BloodBerry

Run for cover . They won't touch you anymore .
They say they love you . I don't believe it .
I won't believe it . The sunshine blocks the rainbow, and the eclipse shivers the earth . The moon howls at the wolf, and the hoop goes through the dolphin .
Who are we to say this couldn't happen ? Who are we to say this isn't true ?
All I wanted was to be happy . The pills made me happy ... For a while .
My lover knows just how to please me, with love and lust, I'm under his spell .
I tend to forget that he's a fantasy . I'll wake up any minute now, I'll wake up and you won't be there, lying naked, warm, so warm, next to me, holding me . I don't want the pills . I don't like the pills . Don't make me take the pills . The pills like me .

Chapter I

...Do you know me ?
...Who I really am ?
I am heartbreak and depression,
I am pitiful and pathetic,
abrasive, deceptive,
unsure and inventive .
I am unending sadness,
a gateway, a teacher,
a slave to the labyrinth .
I am an emotional nightmare,
a molecule of torn edges,
an atom vibrating on my own frequency,
completely in tune with nothing .
Builder of my own mythology,
death surrogate in love with matyrdom,
praying for it everyday,
before they realise my shame,
my failings,
my self loathing and mind of lies .
Insane . In pain .
Do you know me ?
Muse destroyer .
Jaded beast of cosmic, cosmic design .
Friend of the dead, cannibal soul eater .
Out of place . Out of time .
Amateur priestess . Apprentice .
Other world . Woman chief protector of the faith,
Holy Soldier, in the third regiment,
in the secret army of the nightmare .
Gods .
I am a traitor, a coward,
a weakling, a satyr,
broken stem, wilting flower,
armor plated,
atomic powered .
I am a liar, I am truth,
and I am free .
I eagerly devour, the terror of decay,
and sever the souls of my enemies, but am I a poet ?
Endangered saviour ? Eternal child ?
War throat ? Well ...
Do you know me yet ?
Do you ?
I don't .

Underground Suicide

How do you feel when you can't feel nothing ?
We fought too hard to let this all fall down .
Come closer, This is war, (No Respect)
I want to see you go down . (No Regrets)

I guess this love is a battlefield .
More like an underground suicide .

My sanctuary, is sacred no more .
I've got no place to hide ,
Stab my back and break my heart
Sit back and watch me fall apart

You can't speak and you can't cry
Tears mean there's weakness inside
You try to run, and hide (No Respect)
I want to see you go down (No Regrets)

I guess this love is a battlefield .
More like an underground suicide .

'Could you help me push aside all that I have left behind
You are walking through streets that mean nothing to you
You believe you're above it and I really don't blame you

Now I taught the weeping willow how to cry