TOO DRUNK TO FUCK !

Yes, it's time for a new year , a new drink, a new cigarette and a new joint ! I'm leaving the shitty things and people behind . I'm leaving my past where it belongs . On the 31st of this month, I am going to die ! I'm going to spend the night with my closest friends, the ones who have supported me throughout all these years , the ones who have listened to my complaints , and have helped me when I was too drunk to do anything . The ones who influenced me to do good AND bad things . The ones who have never disapponted me . The ones who I know will ALWAYS be there for me, just as I will be there for them when they need me . I'm going to forget everyone and everything just for a few moments, I'm gonna be drunk as hell and high as a kite, just like I want to be, and I if I throw up, it's just a sign that I have to start over again ! Happy New Year Mother Fuckers !

Help Me .

Oh, lord, help me walk

Another mile, just one more mile;

I'm tired of walkin' all alone.

And lord, help me to smile

Another smile, just one more smile;

Don't think I can do things on my own.

I never thought I needed help before;

Thought that I could get by - by myself.

But now I know I just can't take it any more.

And with a humble heart, on bended knee,

I'm beggin' You please for help

Oh come down from Your golden throne to me, to lowly me;

I need to feel the touch of Your tender hand.

Release the chains of darkness

Let me see, Lord let me see;

Just where I fit into your master plan.

I never thought I needed help before;

Thought that I could get by - by myself.

Now I know I just can't take it any more.

And with a humble heart, on bended knee,

I'm beggin' You please for help

With a humble heart, on bended knee,

I'm beggin' You please for help .

Johnny Cash *

I can fly, But I want his wings .

I can love, but I need his heart .

Merry Xmas

Why does it always seem that, when you think you've found The One, you always get disappointed ? Ok, I guess I tend to get carried away in my own little world of fantasy where everything's perfect and sweet . But that's what it felt like . And I wouldn't have changed a thing . I have no regrets, and would do it all over again, many times . I honestly don't know what or how to feel . I've almost gotten to that point that, I just don't care anymore , about anything . I've got my friends, the real ones, and I've got my music , and that's all I need right now . I don't want a serious relationship, come on, I'm seventeen ! I don't want to get married, and I'm not asking for anything ! All I want is someone I can trust, someone who will tell me everything'll be Ok when my world's falling apart . Someone who'll hold me when I'm feeling down, someone who'll love me and not be ashamed to admit it . Love's amazing . Even if it doesn't make us happy, deep down it does . I think it's wonderful to be able to look at someone and smile with all your heart ! Smile so big, your cheeks hurt . A smile that NOBODY can wipe off your face no matter how hard they try . I love having that glow in my eye, I love feeling embarassed when I think of that person, I love everything about him . Maybe we just got carried away in what should have just been a friendship . Maybe not . Maybe , someday, he'll feel the same way too . Maybe not . I've gotten to that point of the year that I couldn't give a fuck if it was Christmas or the goddamn pope's wedding . It had to come sometime . I don't like feeling this way . As if I'm waiting around for nothing . Honestly, it's like sitting in a desert waiting for a polar bear to come up and dance the Can-can . Possibly not the best comparison but you get the message . I feel down, I don't feel good . I don't think I'm pretty, I HATE my body, but that's just the teenage girl cliché . Right ? Wrong . I never bothered about my appearence, most days I don't . But when you see all these beautiful, curvy young girls around you everyday, around him everyday, eventually, it gets quite intimidating ... Make me happy ?

Enough's Enough .

Well, I'm not really sure what to write . I've got so much to say, yet nothing that's significant .
Maybe, I'll end a cycle in my life, and learn to keep the sweetness of my love , that I had to learn to lose . Maybe not . Maybe Man enjoys suffering , if we truly know what suffering is . To remember the first kiss and make my body shiver, well that's gotta mean something . Someday I'll find out what . I'd like to know a way to sleep and dream of you, to be awake and daydream of you . Then I'll be almost completely happy . I don't want to forget you , I don't want to NOT think about you . Where's the fun in that ? ...