Merry Xmas

Why does it always seem that, when you think you've found The One, you always get disappointed ? Ok, I guess I tend to get carried away in my own little world of fantasy where everything's perfect and sweet . But that's what it felt like . And I wouldn't have changed a thing . I have no regrets, and would do it all over again, many times . I honestly don't know what or how to feel . I've almost gotten to that point that, I just don't care anymore , about anything . I've got my friends, the real ones, and I've got my music , and that's all I need right now . I don't want a serious relationship, come on, I'm seventeen ! I don't want to get married, and I'm not asking for anything ! All I want is someone I can trust, someone who will tell me everything'll be Ok when my world's falling apart . Someone who'll hold me when I'm feeling down, someone who'll love me and not be ashamed to admit it . Love's amazing . Even if it doesn't make us happy, deep down it does . I think it's wonderful to be able to look at someone and smile with all your heart ! Smile so big, your cheeks hurt . A smile that NOBODY can wipe off your face no matter how hard they try . I love having that glow in my eye, I love feeling embarassed when I think of that person, I love everything about him . Maybe we just got carried away in what should have just been a friendship . Maybe not . Maybe , someday, he'll feel the same way too . Maybe not . I've gotten to that point of the year that I couldn't give a fuck if it was Christmas or the goddamn pope's wedding . It had to come sometime . I don't like feeling this way . As if I'm waiting around for nothing . Honestly, it's like sitting in a desert waiting for a polar bear to come up and dance the Can-can . Possibly not the best comparison but you get the message . I feel down, I don't feel good . I don't think I'm pretty, I HATE my body, but that's just the teenage girl cliché . Right ? Wrong . I never bothered about my appearence, most days I don't . But when you see all these beautiful, curvy young girls around you everyday, around him everyday, eventually, it gets quite intimidating ... Make me happy ?