They say it's a fact

A climate mangles a rush myth.

Prostye Dvizhenia

Cheguei ao ponto de ser apenas uma pessoa quase inexistente, extremamente insignificante e inútil . Nunca pensei que fosse pedir muito...
Peço desculpa por não ser aquilo que sempre quiseste, aquilo que sempre sonhaste.
Ama-me, que sem ti, nada posso. Nada sou.
Iremos encontrar-nos de novo, e talvez as estrelas tenham mudado, e nós não apenas nos amemos nesse tempo, mas por todos os tempos que vivemos antes.
A razão porque dói tanto separarmo-nos é porque as nossas almas estão ligadas. Talvez sempre tenham estado e sempre o fiquem. Talvez tenhamos vivido milhares de vidas antes desta, e em cada uma nos tenhamos reencontrado. E talvez que em cada uma tenhamos sido separados pelos mesmos motivos. Isto significa que esta despedida é, ao mesmo tempo, um adeus pelos últimos dez mil anos e um prelúdio ao que virá. Quando olho para ti vejo a tua beleza e graça, e sei que cresceram mais fortes com cada vida que viveste. E sei que gastei todas as vistas antes desta à tua procura. Não de alguém como tu, mas de ti, porque a tua alma e a minha têm que andar sempre juntas. E assim, por uma razão que nenhum de nós entende, fomos obrigados a dizer-nos adeus. Adoraria dizer-te que tudo correrá bem para nós, e prometo fazer tudo o que puder para garantir que assim será. Mas se nunca nos voltarmos a encontrar outra vez, e isto foi verdadeiramente um adeus, sei que nos veremos ainda noutra vida.

"You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does"

"Vida Anal"

And she struck him with the hammer again. That old rusty hammer that said Stainless Steel on the handle.. It'd been in pop's shed for the past twenty-odd years hidden behind some fishing rods that were tangled inbetween the left-over rope and spider webs .. He bled out, and gasped for air. She pitied him for what he had done, and spat on him. In any other age he would be condemned to hang.. Not nowadays. So she took matters into her own hands. She didn't bother to strike him again. She dropped the weapon, turned around, and slowly walked off in the freezing cold while he stared at her, hoping for her to come back for him. To forgive him. Forgiveness was something she didn't believe in .
This wasn't something she'd done before. And it wasn't an act of passion. It was pure hate. Her best friend took her life away with the rope.. It was that rope we had all seen before. We saw it everyday and never took any notice of it. We didn't ever intend to use it for other purposes than what it was meant for. And those stairs. Those shiny stairs that we thought were so funky.. twenty-one steps was all it took to go up them. One jump was all it took to come halfway down. She banged her feet on the tiles on the wall while grasping for breath. Could she be regretting it? .. By that stage it was too late. Those shiny, funky stairs had a new meaning to them. They never looked the same again. Pops didn't even get the tiles fixed, why would he anyway? It was a twisted reminder of how life fucks you in the ass over and over again. She didn't bring it on herself, he did.. and he paid for it ..

Why won't he pay for it? ...


Lara Donnelly, 02/09/2010

In my town, there's a saying with your name

I don't see any flaws. I don't look for any qualities, because I like you just the way you are. From every stare, every touch, every breath ...

Insight

Somewhere in the middle, not knowing what to do, leaving us so heartless, leaving nothing to prove. Something might go wrong, but then again, who cares?
I don't care anyway!
Join me tonight while you fade away, and maybe tonight we'll try to erase. Your biggest mistake was fuelling this hate, my best answer is that you're too late.

There are no words to describe this song except for: Pure Sex

"Without thinking too loud "

I woke up too early for my brain to activate . I got the boat to Lisbon . So many people trying to get to one little place, they seem like a bunch of sheep . After getting three different busses, me and my grandma finally managed to get to an Old People's Home, where my great-aunt has been living for the past seven years . It's run by nuns . A holy place . When we got there, I sat down on one off the many little stools while my grandma went to pay the rent and the medical bills . I started to look around me and actually started feeling sickened by all the holy statues . The bible says not to bow down to these pieces of Art, yet they're everywhere and people cry for them . I suddenly noticed a little red round figure down the end of the room accompanied by another lady . The little red round figure was a lady I always see when I go there . She has Alzeimer's, and is probably the happiest person I know . That makes me happy . As my grandma started walking towards me, I started to walk towards the little dark hallway that leads to the downstairs rooms . We went in my great-aunts' room, where the stench of old people nearly intoxicated me . She was nowhere to be found, so we followed into the lounge where all the old ladies sit all day . On the way there we found a cute old lady that we always talk to, and gave her a packet of cookies and some cakes for her and her roommate . Right before the lounge is a bathroom, for emergencies only . I believe somebody had an accident there, the floor had recently been mopped and the smell was unbearable . In the lounge, we finally found out that my aunty was having a bath, so we went back to the beginning of the hallway . Waiting for what seemed too long, my grandma sent me back into the lounge to check if they had put her there . It would've taken me around 30 seconds to get there, but there was some traffic called 'Old Lady' and I was stuck behind her . She had a walking stick and I could see she was clearly struggling from the way her back bent and her knees wobbled . As we walked at one mile per hour, my brain felt like it was going to explode with the smell coming from the emergency bathroom, when all of a sudden when I looked down at the struggling woman, she farted a really loud, long and intense fart . In most cases, I would've fallen to the ground from laughing too much, but I composed myself and didn't even smirk . Eventually, I got into the lounge, and to my suprise, she wasn't there . Fuck . What a waste of time and oxygen . I went back to the hallway to accompany my grandma when the nun brought my aunty out and took her to the lounge . Walking, again, towards the lounge, past the emergency bathroom . As I walk in, I noticed many depressed expressions, which I had not earlier noticed . The nun 'parked' my great-aunt in her wheelchair and left us . We spoke to her as if she was a five-year-old child and I never felt so observed in my life . The cute old lady's roommate came in and started talking with us . She was telling us how one of the old ladies wouldn't shut up the whole night . She was put in there nearly twenty years ago, I don't think she's right in the brain . But she's cute . There was another lady there that couldn't stay sitting down for more than five minutes, she would try to get up which would take her a considerable amount of time, and wobble around as if she was jelly . Everyone would shout at her and call her crazy . I thought she was brave and independent . But that's my opinion .
After we left the Old People's home, we got another two busses towards the graveyard where my great-grandmother's buried . If she was alive now, she would be 94 next saturday . She died in 2003 . We arrived at the graveyard where there was a lot of shade for us to walk in . As we approached the entrance I noticed the old lady that always asks for money, and inside I noticed a big van with the back doors open, and a coffin inside surrounded by flowers . Just what I fucking needed, pretending to be nice . We passed by, and I took off my sunglasses as a sign of respect . I hate funerals . Everyone pretends that they loved that person and that they will really miss them . As if . We continued walking, now in the sun, towards my grandma's mother's grave . When we got there, I sat down in the first spot of shade I saw as my grandmother arranged all the flowers on her mother's grave . She's dead . Please, commemorate her life and don't pity her death . It was her time to go, everyone dies . My grandmother didn't like this statement . Oh well .
As we were leaving the graveyard, the family members of the person in the coffin we saw at the entrance, were also leaving . ONE person was crying . Only the Lord knows if they were real tears or not . Nobody else seemed to give a shit, I even heard four of them talking about football, how depressing .
We left and walked a bit, until we found our 'usual' restaurant . We ate, a lot, paid, and left . We got a bus down to the centre, and got some fabrics . My grandma makes and fixes clothes . It's quite handy . After that, I dragged her to one of my favourite shops, a Tattoo shop, which she absolutely hates . She informed me straight away that she had no money (just so that I wouldn't buy anything in that shop) . About two minutes after leaving that shop, she did the lottery (for the 4th time today), and asked me if I wanted some Ice-Cream . WHAT HAPPENED TO: 'I HAVE NO MONEY' ?! God, she's adorable . Eventually, we got the boat back home and I started talking with my friend Kiko, which as always, never fails to entertain me .
I had to change out of my grey t-shirt, it's getting too hot and it's already 7Pm .





(July/August 09-Lisbon)

Thank you for being there. It's just a shame you werent as pretty as these.

Mikey (L)

Michel Catarina Romano . Mike ! My ultimate best friend . We met about a year and a half ago, at the skatepark . (Our "home") . He was always with Sidney, another guy that I usually talk to . Me and Mike started talking, well, obviously because of skateboarding, but there was something different about him . He was really kind and helped me whenever I needed some tips about a trick . One time, I went out with some friends of mine, and found Mike after he went to Prom with his girlfriend . (Un)-Fortunately, they broke up that night because he cheated on her . He was completely drunk and we started talking . It was that night that I found out his whole name, which I thought was hilarious because he has a girls' name . Catarina . He'd fall over while he was sitting down and would just make everybody laugh . As we were walking towards the Taxi rank at the end of the night, Mike wanted to prove that his shoes were too big my kicking them up into the air . He turned to us and shouted "Look at my shoe!" , and kicked it so high, that it ended up on top of a roof, which had a lot of bushes on it for some reason . He desperately tried to climb up to get it, even me and my friends tried after we got up from off the floor we had layed down after laughing so hard, along with the rest of the guys . After a long and failed attempt to get the shoe, we continued to walk towards the Taxi rank and explained the situation to some english guys that were there . Ruben, one of the guys that was with Mike, decided to tell his version of the story . The only problem was that his English wasn't too perfect, and managed to say "His, uh, Shoe, is in the, Jungle !" . I'll never forget that night .
When school started, I found out that Mike was also studying there, and we started hanging out (along with my usual group of friends) . Well, after that, we became inseperable . People started to think we were going out, which we weren't ... We just became really close friends . We were always together, we'd bunk off school to go hang out in the cafe or in the skatepark . We'd get drunk and high together, probably every day . But it was fun !
He was probably one of the prettiest guys in school . Tall, skinny but fit, skater-punk style . He'd usually let his little beard grow, which would always go a kind of auburn-ginger colour . His mom is portuguese, and his dad is Italian . Divorced . He has a younger brother and a younger sister, also very pretty like him, but with darker hair . You could kind of say I loved him, well I still do . As a friend . He is the most amazing person in the world . I can always count on him, no matter what . He even loves the same music as me . Wherever we went, we'd go together . My boyfriend at the time didn't find this too interesting, and Mike's psycho ex-girlfriend didn't either . We'd just laugh at the situation . Mike taught me how to live ! God, I miss him .



Best friend <3 (I wrote this last summer)

Anthology (03-07-2009!)

I don't feel the need to be writing this, or telling you my story . My name is Alice, I'm nineteen years old and free to do anything I want . I go out, get drunk, get stoned and have kinky sex with any guy that can spare me some coke .
Recently I've noticed someone has been following me, it's quite uncomfortable .
Last Saturday night some guy followed me all the way home, which is quite a long
bit to walk . Sunday and Monday I spotted the same guy always close to me . He's tall, medium build, wears black clothing with a hoodie that covers his face and
that's all I can really tell you apart from the fact he's always smoking . Monday night I didn't sleep at home . I went to a huge party that honestly sucked in a
extraordinarily big house with a giant 8 shaped colourful swimming-pool . The loud electro music and the flashing lights made me confused . As I was wondering
around the house by myself, I walked through a dark corridor when I found a group of four or five guys in the bathroom with the lights dim . In an act of
curiosity, I went in and stared for a while . I put down my bottle of Jack, and kneeled down in front of the bathtub right beside the guys . One of them looked at
me mysteriously and smiled, nodded his head and looked down at the line in front of him . He moved over a bit so I could go where he was sitting . I looked
around to see one of the guys stare at himself in the mirror in awe, another had grabbed my bottle of Jack and the other I couldn't quite make out if he was doing
anything . He was standing in the entrance of the bathroom, but the lighting wasn't quite spectacular and I wasn't bothered about who he was or what he was
doing anyway . I turned back around, facing the bathtub and the line of coke in front of me . I looked down, grabbed a five dollar note that was beside the line,
and sniffed it without even thinking twice . The man beside me gave me a hug, and put out another few lines for the both of us . The others slowly started to leave,
leaving just me, the smiley man and the sneaky dark figure standing at the entrance . After a while, I layed down on the floor, laughing by myself and calling
names to the toilet seat . The dark figure picked me up and brought me to a room a few doors down through the extremely dark hallway . He sat me on the bed
and stared at me . He put his hand on my thigh and I stared at the ceiling . His hand started to slide up my leg when I noticed exactly how many cracks in the
ceiling there were . This was too much of a normal thing for me, but I wasn't interested . I let him have his way with me, I didn't have the strength or the pacience to protest . When he was done, he walked out, leaving me alone on my knees . I rolled off the bed and fell on the floor, the force of the impact made me dizzy and I slowly stood up . I continued my journey through the house, now going down a flight of stairs, passing various rooms with three or four people having sex at the same time . The whole house was infested with cocaine and sex . I kept walking until I finally reached the patio where the swimming pool was . The pool had
normal tiles with a dolphin in the middle (the typical american base), and had changing lights . It would start off with red, changing into green and the into an
intense blue . The blue was the prettiest . The fact that I was half undressed already gave me more adrenaline to jump in . Instead, I looked around at the few
people that were there, and walked in the pool . My short black hair became like silk on the top of my head, and my white shirt became transparent . I couldn't
care less if anyone saw any part of my body . Eventually, I started thinking . The man who had fucked shortly before, was extremely like the guy that had been following me around . Now it made sense . He was obsessed . I nearly fell asleep in the pool and decided to get out . I layed down on the grass until the morning
heat got too much for me . I went home, only to find the police and a white van outside my house . I went in and asked what was going on . Nobody answered me .
My mother looked down at the floor with tears streaming down her face, and I knew immediately that something was wrong . The police started to ask me questions, while the other two gentlemen in white robes stared at me as if I was an abarational hamster . They asked me what life meant for me, and what i had been doing recently . I told them minor details of my day-to-day life and told them about the man that had been following me . They looked at eachother and nodded . They took hold of me and put me in the white van parked outside my house . Since then I've been living in the biggest house I've ever seen, in a small white room with cushioned sound proof walls . I don't understand what's happening, but the kind weird men in the white robes say I will understand things very soon . Did I mention I'm in St.Peter Psychiatric Hospital for the past five years ? I didn't think so . I hope you enjoyed my story, it's a lie but I swear it's true .

Tarcyanna

É preciso ter coragem, muita coragem mesmo.
Descansa em paz Bábii, e olha por nós.
Até já (:

"Nas palavras que escrevi permanece aquilo que pensei durante um momento, ou durante um ano, ou durante a vida toda. Nas palavras que escrevi permanece aquilo que fui, aquilo que não sei se ainda sou."

CORNHOLIOOOOOOOOOO

No, I'm not on any type of medication at all.

ANAL CUNT

National Enterprises

This time it wont feel right,
we've waited far too long .
This distance burns me up inside,
and I cant stand to stand alone

But we're all to blame,
when everything comes bursting into flames,
and we're all to blame when this feeling goes away.
Still, we're all to blame,
when nothing stays the same !

Let me hit you, you will hit me back .
A little kiss, now, wouldn't you like that?
Lets change our lifes in a couple of days,
there's no point to keep living this way.

But we're all to blame,
when everything comes bursting into flames,
and we're all to blame when this feeling goes away.
Still, we're all to blame,
when everything just seems to stay the same.

Jesus & Jelly Beans

I've been up and down this road before,
you sing along and walk out the door,
It makes no sense, this is how it ends .

You picture me, I picture you,
us walking down the avenue ,
It doesnt seem real, this is how I feel.

If we could go back to the place where it all began,
I could never ever see you standing there again .

This doesnt feel right .
Somehow I feel some mercy .
But it's so foolish of me,
to be blind to all of your idiocracy .

One day you'll look back and regret every single move .

Diddle My Skittle

I love the way you made everything look so beautiful .
I loved how you made me want to know everything about you .
I loved how you invited me and made me feel safe .
I loved the warm long nights laying in bed with you .
I loved the love, and I loved the sex .
I loved how you'd shove me and I'd shove you back .
I loved how you hit me and I hit you harder .
I loved how innocent you made me feel .
I loved how you wrapped me around your little finger .
I loved how you'd just stare at me .
I loved how you'd hold me when we slept together .
I loved how you'd show me off .
I loved how you spoke to me .
I loved how you ignored me .
I loved how much of a jerk you really are .
I loved when you'd sing to me in the middle of the street .
I loved everything.
But I didn't love you .

Intro

So your father told you once

That you were his princess

But you don’t see a castle and you cannot find your prince

Well, now you’ve grown a lot

Your dresses don’t fit right

Daddy’s not a hero

He stole your Chariot

Here you are in pieces

Trying to prove to us it’s real

The softness of your smile

And the lies you want to feel

But the scales beneath your skin

Are showing off today

There’s Evil in your heart

And it wants out to play